An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
It was only today when I figured out the reason to all my crying and my awkward conversations with people. It was both frustrating and embarrassing… confusing too. Whenever people would ask me to sing or talk in front of a person or crowd, I cry. Whenever I try to share a story or testimony, I cry there too! And whenever I am asked to lead the prayer for either somebody or for simple things like food, I still cry… And it makes me question my faith in God. When I cry in front of people before I share what Christ has done to my life, they think it is “tears of joy”. I felt sad, disappointed and frustrated with myself. I wanted to share the word of God, but not like this! I want to be confident, I want the words that come out of my mouth to flow like a continuous river, and cry whenever I feel God’s power and His awesomeness. But not because of fear.
I don’t know why but somehow, I have a good feeling. I feel that, through this struggle I could help those who encounter the same problems- if it is God’s will. But I hope and pray that someday, I could overcome this fear with the help of God. For now, I will continue to pray and just wait for His right timing. I would like to thank the Lord for giving a supportive, God-fearing, fun, and awesome sister in Christ, Eloisa G. 🙂 She really helped me get through my problems and I know that I could count on her. She’s available not available all the time, but God is! 24/7. So when encountering problems… Go to Him! He will NEVER fail you!