God Writes Me. – The Lady Journal.
Struggling, I flip the pages–tearing out this chapter and that page;
Tears make little wrinkled circles upon the pages I find myself glaring at–scratched out words and blotches of ink fill the ivory sheets.
Taking my eraser–I try to erase them–only to make them worse.
My eraser is now wet–useless to even try to work on the next chapters,
Grabbing the nearest pencil, I begin to scratch over what I can–Please…
Still being able to see the penmanship underneath the sheen of dark silver,
I find myself tracing the edges of the page.
Hand pushing against my hair, I grimace and fall upon the book.
Weeping, the pages turn into what feels like soggy leaves.
Stop trying to edit your life, don’t you know I am the Author of your life?
Gripping the corners of the book, I begin to tremble and thumb the corner pages up and down.
My crying subsides and all I hear is the wind-chimes, the coffee pot and my own shaky breathing.
“God…” I whisper.
My child, I wrote you into existence. I breathed life into you. I call you my own. I have loved you even before you knew what love was. I loved you from the very beginning. I loved you in chapter 21 and I love you now. As I will keep on loving you and holding you and guiding you for the rest of your days, during every single page of your story, during every single chapter and season. You are mine. Don’t lose sight of Me. I will write your chapters. I will flip the pages. I will bind you. I will hold all of you–every word and curvature–during every protagonist and climax–between the bond of my love and faithfulness. Trust Me…beloved.
Silence becomes me and my heart begins to beat joyously.
Placing my steady hand upon my heart, I declare, “I trust you…O’ Father.”
Slowly smiling, I suddenly feel my heart reach up and give the pen to God.
“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” Proverbs 3:3